Missing Christmas...

For most of us Christmas has come and gone. But for me, writing this on the 6th of January, Christmas Eve is tonight. I am an  Egyptian Coptic Orthodox Christian, and I know that Ukraine, Russia, Serbia, Macedonia and a handful of other countries also celebrate Christmas in January as opposed to December. This difference happens because these countries still follow the Julian calendar for Christian holidays, while other countries follow the Gregorian calendar.

Ever since I moved to the Netherlands, I accepted that I might not spend Christmas with my family, and for the second time, this year I will not spend the holiday with my family. It is such a lonely feeling, celebrating Christmas without loved ones. I am used to being back in my grandmother's house, where we always expect to have a feast on the table. My cousins ​​and I would sneak into the kitchen and watch her and our mothers cook or set up the table. We would resist the urge to sneak small bites of the food because we were fasting (we changed our diet to vegan for around 43 days before Christmas). To distract ourselves from the delicious smell of food, we would go watch TV and stay with the rest of the family in the living room. The tradition is to watch our pope on one of the national channels heading the Christmas Mass in the Cathedral. 

When it's time to eat, we would sit around the dining table, chatting about everything, gossiping about which politicians went to the Cathedral to congratulate the pope for the holiday. My grandfather used to make homemade wine; as the eldest grandchild, I would have the privilege to take a sip and no more during the holidays. Celebrating Christmas alone feels isolating after being used to celebrate it with family, during a night filled with laughter, love and joy. I miss my grandmother's food, I miss my aunt and uncle's jokes around the table. I miss playing and joking around with my cousins, I miss going for brunch with my mom on Christmas morning. 

The plan for tonight is to call my mom, we will both be making the same Egyptian dish, Molokheya. It's not a traditional Christmas dish, but it's the only one I can cook here, so she wanted to share this moment with me. After all, for us, Christmas is not (always) about the food, it's about family and it's a reminder of our faith.

I wish everyone who celebrated this week a very merry and happy Christmas!!