“Christmas Songs of the 21st Century”: From the Deeply Terrible to the Greatest…

2024 coming to a close for most music publications means the End of Year List. “Best albums of 2024”, best songs, best performances. For Billboard, though, it’s business as usual. Here they are, releasing the “Billboard Hot 100” for the 12th time this year. It’s December, so of course Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is you” is on there, shining like a North Star in the number one spot. It’s as if it never left the list. 

Except, it’s not business as usual. Among the customary Wham!, Brenda Lee and Dean Martin songs, there are two strange apparitions - Ariana Grande’s “Santa Tell me” and Kelly Clarkson’s “Underneath the Tree”. So what? What makes their presence so unusual?

This means that 2024 marks the first year ever that 21st century Holiday songs have appeared on the Billboard December top 10 charts.

That’s insane, right? Are all new songs terrible? Did the magic of the Holidays sedate consumerism and microtrend, even if just for a moment? Is Mariah Carey behind all of this?

So there I was, listening to new music. Trying to figure it all out. Instead of crying to “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, or listening to jazz the one time of year everyone else was doing it.

For people looking to get into 21st century Holiday music, here’s a ranking of the songsI’ve listened to. Maybe it’ll help provide an entry point into this music niche so long neglected by the Billboard Charts…

12. Ed Sheeran and Elton John - Merry Christmas

I’m not fully sure why I disliked this one so much. Something about the overprocessed production, vapid attempts at lyrical depth and zero chemistry between the two pop stars.

11. Blink-182 - Not Another Christmas Song

Boo, cynicism, how original. Zero on the spirit-of-Christmas scale. It’s not even funny-cynical.

10. Jonas Brothers - Like it’s Christmas 

Pretty solid for a generic, toothless amalgamation of better songwriters.

9. Lady Gaga - Christmas Tree

A bit of an experiment from Gaga. This raunchy Christmas parody feels like a brainstorming session for the subsequent masterpiece that is “Fame Monster”. There’s some flashy ideas. Ultimately though, it’s an unfinished, provocative packaging, empty when easily  unwrapped. 

8. Sam Smith - Night Before Christmas

Sam Smith’s vocals are great as always. Still, the final lines are telling. “Merry Christmas to everyone, everywhere”, Smith croons. It’s a classic story of setting out to please everyone, and ending up pleasing the 2 people trying on outfits at a local Zara at 11am. And that, only because the clothes fit them well.

7. Coldplay - Christmas Lights

Coldplay’s saccharine melodrama kind of fits a Christmas tune. Too bad this bit of wasted potential plays it way too safe. 

6. Katy Perry - Cozy Little Christmas

As the title suggests, it’s a cozy little tune with a standout vocal performance. A reminder that Katy Perry’s career did in fact have a future at some point in not-so-ancient history. 

5. Justin Bieber (feat. Busta Rhymes) - Drummer Boy

Justin Bieber raps on this one for some reason? This definitely isn’t the way forward for Holiday music. Still, this deeply silly curiosity is kind of a blast and the Busta Rhymes verse (which ends with a triple internal rhyme for Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa) is genuinely virtuosic.

4. Ariana Grande - Santa Tell Me

Ariana Grande didn’t contort too much from her standard faire in order to make this Holiday banger. The lyrics are also pretty interesting, positioning Santa as some kind of prophet or a god. What really makes it a potential classic though is the way it brilliantly incorporates bells into its slick pop production.

3. Sia - Snowman

After whatever that movie about autism was, culture kind of forgot about Sia, and probably rightfully so. Still, she had her moments. “Snowman” is a perfect example of harnessing the Holiday spirit for modern pop purposes. Its chord changes still feel (kind of) fresh. Too bad people stopped bumping it once it got overplayed.

2. Kelly Clarkson - Underneath the Tree

The closest thing to a 21st century Mariah Carey after Mariah Carey herself. It’s fun, it’s fantastically performed, it’s iconic. Most importantly, it honors the musical and lyrical lexicon of Christmas past and somehow doesn’t end up feeling derivative.

1. Tyler the Creator - I am the Grinch

Not only is this one of the best Christmas extended universe songs, it’s also an animated evil guy axiom. Add a bit of edge to your warm and cozy evenings mesmerized by the spiraling, city lit snow by placing yourself in the POV of the Grinch himself. I would definitely not mind if Tyler replaced Mariah Carey as the architect of my December consciousness. It’s fresh. It’s creative. It’s what is needed to put the 21st century on the map in the December Billboard game.