Nightmare on Wheels: My Flixbus Odyssey

 If you’re a broke student, you too probably recall a traumatic experience with Flixbus. If you don’t know what Flixbus is, it means you are rich.  

In January 2023, I traveled a bit and finished my trip in Gothenburg, a lovely city in Sweden. Being in a gap year then, I could afford to spend three days on a bus ride without worrying about university or work. Therefore, a 50-euro Flixbus trip from Gothenburg to Paris seemed like a genius idea on paper: cheap and eco-friendly. I was sold. I didn’t pay attention to the fact that it was a 30-hour trip. It was an obvious red flag, but as usual, I just ignored it. The consequences are now anchored in my soul forever. 

4 am - Monday 23rd of January, Gothenburg (Sweden) 

My alarm goes off, and I immediately regret this decision. This whole Flixbus idea doesn’t seem so smart anymore. My bus is at 4.45, I dress up and leave my friend’s place as silently as possible. Sweden is beautiful, but Sweden at 4 am in the dark streets and bitter cold is creepy. I borrowed my roommate’s suitcase for the trip, it has a broken wheel producing the most atrocious squeaking noise when I pull - I’d better say drag - it. The only reminder I’m not the sole human alive in town is a bunch of drunk people I walk past. I arrive at the station and look at the display to see that my bus is delayed by an hour. I am too tired to be mad, I just sit down and sleep. At 5.30 am, I finally get on the bus. I'm naive enough to believe it’s the end of a rough night.  

11 am - Monday 23rd of January, Gedser (Germany)  

I am sleeping like a log, mask on my eyes and earplugs in my ears when the bus driver announces “Ladies and gentlemen, you must get off the bus”. He explains that we are boarding a ferry to cross the Baltic Sea between Denmark and Germany. Which means we are not allowed to stay on the bus. We are crossing a sea? This is brand new information for me, of course, I did not think of looking into the details of the trip. I therefore find myself on the deck of that boat, letting the wind lash my face to try to wake myself up. I think I’m starting to stink, and I'm overwhelmed by sadness when I remember I left my deodorant in my suitcase. On top of that, I spend 20 euros on an overpriced hot chocolate and a piece of tasteless toast. I cannot help but think I’m getting closer to the price I would have paid for a train ticket. When we are finally allowed to jump back onto the bus, I fall asleep again, dreaming about deodorant and manifesting for the rest of the trip to be peaceful.  

4 pm - Monday 23rd of January, Berlin (Germany) 

12 hours have passed since I left and I finally arrived in Berlin, where I am supposed to catch my next bus. I only have 4 hours to wait, I’m thinking I might get to see some interesting sights of the city. My hopes are crushed almost instantly when I see the Flixbus station. It is located in the suburbs of Berlin in an industrial area, where nothing seems to exist except for depression. The station itself is just a big room, without any shops or coffee places, not even bathrooms. The Berlin fantasy disappeared as fast as it would have been to travel by plane. Nevertheless, I am resilient and still quite happy, knowing that I (only) have to wait 4 hours before my next bus, which will take me straight home. So I sit down and start watching The White Lotus season 2. All the seats being taken, I end up sitting on my suitcase, which honestly is not that uncomfortable. At 7.40 pm, I step outside, wanting to make sure I will not miss my bus.  

7.40 pm - Monday 23rd of January, Berlin (Germany) 

I’m waiting for my bus, praying I’ll get a seat next to the window. The bus is supposed to be there at 8 pm, but at 7.55 it still hasn’t arrived. I ask people around if they know where the bus to Paris is, but weirdly no one else seems to take that bus. Being used to Flixbus’ delays, I am still confident it will arrive soon. 8.05, I start to panic a little, I decide to find someone who works there and can tell me what’s happening. I find someone and ask him if he knows anything about the 8 pm bus to Paris. He answers me that if there is a bus to Paris it has left already.  Well, now I am not so happy anymore. I am tired, I smell like an old cracker, and I am thinking all this would have never happened if I had not taken a bus. I decide to give up and start looking for trains and planes. Unfortunately, everything is fully booked for the 2 upcoming days. I try my best not to cry, and start thinking what my other options are. 

9 pm - Monday 23rd of January, Berlin (Germany) 

Good news: I found a Blablacar driver who’s leaving at 11 pm from Berlin and still has one seat left. I feel pretty safe because their profile says it’s a woman, and she got good reviews. We start to exchange on WhatsApp, but soon enough I realise that she is a he. On top of that, he is pretty insistent on receiving the payment for the trip immediately and without going through the Blablacar platform. I might not be Sherlock, but I get a hint that this guy might be a scammer. At some point, he offers me a discount on the trip, in exchange for… nudes. Well, Blablacar is off the solution list and I’m back where I was: stuck in Berlin. I talk with several people in the station until someone tells me there is another bus for Paris tonight. I am so relieved, I am about to hug him, before remembering I haven’t showered in a while. There is one minor issue with that bus: it is at 3 am. It is now 10 pm, and my maths skills take me to the conclusion that I have 5 more hours to wait in that creepy bus station. At least I don’t have to sit on my suitcase anymore, there are plenty of empty seats now.  
 
2.30 am - Tuesday 24th of January, Berlin (Germany) 

I finished the whole second season of The White Lotus, developed an obsession with Jennifer Coolidge, and changed my life plan about 65 times during the past 4 hours. At 2.50 am, the bus finally arrives. I get in, rush towards a seat next to the window, and check about 16 times that it is going to Paris. Only 15 hours left to go, what a relief.  

6 pm - Tuesday 24th of January, Paris (France) 

After a total of 37 hours of traveling, I have arrived in Paris. In the metro that takes me home, I find myself sitting next to a homeless person. People are sitting away from us, and I don’t know if it’s because of him or because myself. In the end, this trip became more expensive than a train ride. As a result, you might think I learned a lesson from that misadventure. The fact is, I did not. I had many more chaotic Flixbus trips that happened after this one, and I don’t think it’s about to change soon.  

Flixbusly,  

Alice